Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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