I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
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