I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
