I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize