My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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