I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Randomize
