I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Randomize
