Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Randomize
