Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
