his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Randomize
