Dual....:-)
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Randomize
