i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
he fucked my hip out of place.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
