He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Randomize
