and next time when you feel me up, do it right
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Randomize
