somebody snuck up and got me drunk
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
