it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
