Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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