my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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