Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Randomize
