At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
All I want is dick and wine.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
