I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
