i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
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