discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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