do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Randomize
