Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Randomize
