Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
