so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
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