I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Randomize
