beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
