so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Even my vagina gasped.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I think i got beer on your cat.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
