Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
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