My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
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