laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
