rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Randomize
