it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
