Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
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