she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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