I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
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