His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Randomize
