Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Randomize
