I wish I only lived at night.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
