And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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