Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
