whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
