allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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