Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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