He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Just pee around me
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Randomize
