I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Randomize
