If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
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