we have officially lost it.
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
