omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
organizing the empties. That sober.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
