I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
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