And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Randomize
