She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
