So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
My balls are so social today.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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