What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Randomize
