You really coming over, don't trick.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize