Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
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