he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
he just fucked me for my cheese.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
