Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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