dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Randomize
