I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Randomize
