I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
