I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
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