Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
You're earring is so big in my mouth
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Im part way to drunk.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
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