look no pants
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
