the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
