so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
