You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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