so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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