my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
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