i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Randomize
