who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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