She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Randomize