dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
