my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Randomize
