"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
