I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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