just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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