when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Randomize
