i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Randomize