She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
well you can't waste a boner
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
