Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
