my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
This toilet bowl is my home.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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