Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Randomize