you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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