I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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