David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
