dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
handjob tips. give me some.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
