Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Randomize
