ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
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